Issue #13 May 2007

The last month has been hopping in OTF with more excitement planned throughout the coming months leading up to the tenth anniversary of OTF. But until then… we're stuck with an issue of the Blue Report where Polson is worshiping a Captain Tightpants, there's promise of Harry Potter fun showing up, and more SW 30th Anniversary partying. There's perhaps a conspiracy of Aeon awarding herself with the rank-o-matic? I heard there's even an Amazing Race? I'm not sure about the poetry thing… we might have to help Dmitri. Although… having the new ST DSC wandering around lost in the depths of OTF wouldn't be a bad thing…

Before we all get excited on that idea, read the Blue Report and then go steal and con the Amazing Race hints out of your fellow OTFers you couldn’t figure out yet! BTW... my first Blue Report article wouldn't be complete without pointing out... Luc Deathstryke is a jerk.

Amanda Sielu Paris (CL7)
_{Star Wars DSC}

It’s hot, it’s hip, it’s happening, it’s the OZD! At least that’s what the label says. And what have we been up to? I have no idea. So I’ll make up some stuff.

First off, Dmitri’s been added to my OZD mailing list so I’m going to assume there was some kind of coup in which Kay was taken hostage and sold to finance Dmitri’s relentless march into leadership, Iain was forced to wear pink rubber panties with daisies on them and Cinna seduced the Napoleon wannabe so that she could become Queen of the OZD and dispatch Dmitri at her leisure. The evidence to support this theory may be vague and quite possibly misplaced but that is a minor detail that will be corrected once the data can be fabricated, I mean uh, once we clear up a few matters.

Over at the OZD, CL6 Mezoti and CL7 Amanda Sielu Paris worked together to jointly host the Firefly weekend in the CCC that you might have bumped into. Thanks to Amanda and Mez for the legwork, Iain and Aeon for the gruntwork and everyone else for partcipating. In truth, there has been much preparation for some future projects that will be implemented in the coming summer months, including the most anticipated Amazing Race! Big things are afoot and I don’t just mean Grant. Although he is big and he is afoot and he is jealously hunting Iain. We all wish Grant the best of luck.

And kudos to Amanda and all those who worked on the Firefly weekend. Captain Tightpants is my hero.

Word, yo.

Polson
_{Department of Something or Other}

Oh, what to say about the Senate these days? A quote from a song comes to mind; "there was arguments, scraps, some killings perhaps". Usually employed by me to describe the more quiet tea-parties I've attended, it fits the Senate rather well this month. We have argued quite a bit. I always say that's a good sign, though, and circumstantial evidence agree with me, possibly because it's too afraid to do anything else. But hey, we even got some work done, can't be that bad.

Most of this work has centred on the celebrations for 30 years of Star Wars, more details thereof in the possibly bloody aftermath next month. We did already have a Trivia, surprisingly won by Hobbie - only because I wasn't there, of course. Stupid dial-up. Shut up, it's not an excuse, it's a genuine reason. Anyway. We've also updated the website to some extent, and are working on the remainder now. It's a somewhat slow process, but since I'm one of the main people involved in it, that shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Aside from that we've been mainly involved in sneaking upon Hobbie unawares and writing "I am the Walrus" on his forehead in permanent marker. The best so far was KypD, she got as far as the "h", it took him ages to get it off and you can still see it in the right lighting. Hah.

And lastly, a public service announcement. I just want to stress that if there's anything you want to see in the CCC or the Star Wars genre at OTF in general, let us know. If you have ideas for events or other changes and gimmicks you'd like to see implemented, tell us. We are, after all, here for the members of the Star Wars genre, that's the whole point. No, it's not the free champagne, honestly. I don't like champagne anyway, yuck.

Clear skies!

Bria Terrik
_{Senator of Corellia}

Presenting, the lovely, the entertaining, the high on life and who knows what else, CL6 Mezoti!

1. Who did you bribe/kill/imprison for unhealthy amounts of time to earn/deserve this award?
Kayana of course! Dmitri? Pfft. He's such a pushover. Kayana is the one you have to bribe.

2.What are the cool departmental things you do around OTF that nobody knows about?
..people get to do cool deparmental things without telling anyone? All I got to do is plan my Firefly weekend and ISA stuff. Oh, I guess I am Iain's alarm clock. Does that count?

3.What has been your favorite project to work on?
Of all time? Trivia, baby! Trivia was the first team I joined. So she'll always be in my heart.

4.Mezoti finally has her own avatar! How many years did it take and how happy are you??
It took me 4 and a half years! I was so giddy in the beginning, then I could never bring myself to use it! I hardly ever do, now.

5. Can you explain why you moonlight as a pot leaf for our readers?
Because my FFA adviser told me someone had to. I got volunteered by my "friends". Hence the infamous picture that Polson loves.

6. If you could make a chat room into any theme your little heart desired, what theme would you pick and what avatar would you use?
The 4400! It's underappreciated, I think. I'd probably use April as my avatar. She's a rebel and all. :)

7.Brandi, you rock. Comments?
You rock, Polson. :D That is to say thank you everyone, for everything! (There, that's a broad response, yes?)

Thanks Brandi! You'll always be my favorite pot leaf.

Polson
_{Department of Something or Other}

To CL6:

To CL5:

To CL4:

To CL3:

[Enlarge comic in a new window.]

53. EXT. TATOOINE - WASTELAND- NEAR THE BINS.

The sooperdooperlanderspeeder stops before what remains of the huge Jawas Sandcrawler. Osiris and Ma-jin walk among the smoldering rubble, plastic beach toys and scattered bodies.

OSIRIS
It looks like Sandcastle people did this, all right. Look, here are Goofy sticks, Banthaphant tracks. It's just...I never heard of them hitting anything this big before, mostly because they're such appalling shots.

Osiris is crouching in the sand studying the tracks and rifling through the pockets of dead Jawas.

MA-JIN
They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These tracks are side by side. Sandcastle people always ride single file, like a chorus line, to hide their numbers.

OSIRIS
These are the same Jawas that sold us Ajay and Deepio.

MA-JIN
And these blast points, too accurate for Sandcastle people. Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise- though, they still missed obvious targets, such as the side of that barn.

OSIRIS
Why would Imperial troops want to slaughter Jawas? I mean, they don't needs droids, and you can get these beachs towels in Mos Eisely.

Osiris looks back at the speeder where Ajay and Deepio are prodding dead Jawas with sticks, and puts two and two together- which, in his head, equal seven and a half.

OSIRIS- (SMELL THE BURNING COGS IN HIS BRAIN)
If they traced the robots here (smoulder), they may have learned who they sold them to. And that would lead them home!

Osiris reaches a sudden horrible realization, then races for the speeder and jumps into it, crushing his packed lunch.

MA-JIN
Wait, Osiris! It's too dangerous. Oh for... you stood on my floury bap!

Osiris races off leaving Ma-jin and the two robots alone with the burning Sandcrawler. They aren't happy, in a desert, without baps and water. Cheers Osiris.

54. EXT. TATOOINE - WASTELAND... EXCITING INTERLUDE.

Osiris races across the wasteland in his battered Landspeeder. End exciting interlude.

55. EXT. TATOOINE - HOMESTEAD-THE SMELL OF BLUE MILK FILLS THE AIR.

The speeder roars up to the burning homestead. Osiris jumps out and runs to the smoking holes that were once his home, really, how can he tell the difference. Debris is scattered everywhere and it looks as if a great battle has taken place... if by great battle we're talking about old moisture farmers against a crack squad of plastic-clad clown-descendents.

OSIRIS-GIRLY, HIGH PITCHED EMO SCREAM.
Uncle Octavius! Aunt Billy Bob! Uncle Octavius!

Osiris stumbles around in a daze looking for his aunt and uncle. Suddenly he comes upon their smoldering remains. He is stunned, and cannot speak. Hate replaces fear and a new resolve comes over him. They murdered his milk!