Issue #16

Regarding Addicts, Space Monkeys and Procrastination [by Polson]

I know some of you Blue Report addicts have been getting jittery without their latest fix, but don’t worry, it’s finally here!! We held off after the anniversary for a break, and then we decided to wait for promotions, which were late (due to terrifying space monkeys, at least that’s the current working theory), and then I had the craziest busiest week. I decided I could get my part finished Saturday morning if I got up early and worked until noon, we’d release on time and my first Blue Report as editor would be an amazing success, a testament to my abilities as the new editor. Good intentions, I decided as I sat in a less than comfortable emergency waiting room chair at 3 am Saturday morning, are lovely in theory but not so much in practise. I also decided firmly that I would stop procrastinating. Later.

But, broken wrist and all, the report is here and it is due in no way to my amazing abilities, but entirely to the awesome Blue Report team!!! I’ve been contributing for the past year and watching the players who really go above and beyond and who pour a lot into this project without a thought for a pat on the back. I am duly impressed by their hard work, but even more so just the attitude they have about setbacks and the way every issue is fun instead of another obligation in life. I look forward to every new issue and I know they do too. Thanks so much Blue Report Team! You guys are the wings beneath my passing winds. Or something like that.

Anyway, so here’s your Blue Report! It’s got some special achievement awards and everyone’s favourite Rank-o-matic with a surprise victim, and a cartoon, something about pants, we make fun of Dmitri, and there are some division updates and a cherry on top for the addicts. Hey…do we have Blue Report addicts? I mean…besides ourselves?

Break a wrist,

Polson
Department of Something or Other

OZD Report: All that jive talking, it does something to me [by Kayana]

I've been told that I need to write this article. Well, imagine Lee as Mr. Potato Head, paint it in Liberal colors and we're done here! Ahahahaha!

*Kayana is suddenly pulled aside, a hurried whispered consultation between Kayana, Hobbie and Polson occurs with several strains of "But I WANNA insult Lee on a daily basis!" and "If I can't be mean to him, who can??" heard followed by a grumpily admitted agreement to "play nice and get serious."

Ahem, that is, much like a baked potato, our dearest DSC is nutritious and fun and incidentally, having him around is like haviing a party in your mouth! Mmm, mmm. Lee-icious!

Anyways. In the OZD we had the 20th year anniversary of TNG in Sept, and more recently the Halloween Ball in OTF in Oct. For the most part though, we've been keeping it quiet in the OZD as the EC is up to its annual paperfight again and we're trying to see where it all goes and who (and what) we need to bribe.

More seriously, we've been discussing OTF's future with you guys and it's been refreshing to hear different viewpoints. Not sure where it'll go but it's good to know that things are being said out there.

Beyond that, you'll be happy to note that Lee and I are trying to actively market TF again. If any of you would like to volunteer please send an email to: kayana at outpost10f.com or dmitri at outpost10f.com please as we're looking for volunteers.

That's it from your lovable SC and have a great month!

Cheerios,

CL7 Kayana
ST SC

Senate Update: The wind of change [by Bria Terrik]

Ah yes, change is the big word these days, apparently. And of course it doesn't work without a good solid debate, which is still kind of ongoing in case you want to have your say and haven't already. I always find debates very interesting and very messy. Everyone has an opinion and everyone thinks they're right and in the end, we're all going to have to compromise anyway because that's how these things work. But I find it quite impressive, too, that something which started off as a mere chatroom has become such a big thing that we can actually have arguments about various aspects of it. It's all incredibly complex, if you think about it.

But that's enough philosophising, lest you think I'm trying to distract from the actual point of this article – the goings-on of the Senate. Because stuff did happen! First and foremost, we had the 30th anniversary forum party, which is over now but was quite fun at the time. We have four different themes over four weeks, which ended up being five weeks because we skipped a week in between. Never mind. But if you were there, you know what happened. If you weren't – shame on you!

Also, we've had to say goodbye to one of our number as Osiris resigned back in September. Among other things, everyone's favourite Kesselian (which is now an adjective) Senator was fundamental in brainstorming and implementing the Wookiee affiliation. So on behalf of the Senate, I'd like to wish Osiris the best of luck with whatever the future holds. Thank you for all your contributions!

Apart from that, not much has been going on. I've been enjoying myself, though, if that's any consolation. And you should read the rest of the Blue Report, and do the same thing. Go on, it'll be a laugh.

Clear skies!

Bria Terrik
Senator of Corellia

Interview with CL9 Iain, winner of the Gene Rodenberry Award [by Kayana]

1)Who or what, did you have to bribe for the Gene Rodenberry Award?
"Or what"? The great sorceress in the sky that they call Kayana, and her devilish sidekick, Dmitri.

2) What were your first thoughts upon receiving it?
"I have received the Gene Roddenberry award. What's for dinner?" is probably an accurate recreation of those thoughts.

3)Any reflections/comments about receiving this award?
In the words of Bob Servant, "The thing is Xiong, you're over there in China and I'm here in Broughty Ferry. But you're just a man and I'm just a man. We're all just men. Apart from women."

4)Any advice for peeperoonies who want to win this award this year?
Stop being an tasty, spicy pizza topping, and I'll stop eating you.

5)Name 5 things you would like to thank for this award
Brandi's: cookies, grilled cheeses, Taco Bell ordering skillz, and her putting up with my stomach.

And inability to count to 5.

Without creating a paradox.

Many thanks and Congratulations to Iain!

George Lucas Award interview [by Bria Terrik]

After a long, dry spell without any awards or Blue Reports or interviews or basically anything else - here's one for ya!

Jaden Korr won the George Lucas Award at the anniversary, even though she seemed quite unaware of this when I asked her for an interview. Maybe news travels slower than we all thought, internet and such things aside? But here's the interview!

1. So, the George Lucas award... are you proud?
It belonged to me anyway in the first place, like the Senate... and the entire Galaxy... and all the thermal detonator too... oh and all the chocolat sunday *nods*

2. Do you have anyone to thank for it - aside from yourself?
humm other then me? hummm.... all the Senator, curropted ones of course, who voted for me. Well am a dark lord of the Sith what did you expect? a fair win? hahaha

3. What was the best thing about being Star Wars SC?
hummm abuse of power, abuse of Hobbie, abuse of the Senators of course... oh yeah and abuse of the Armory... *hugs all of her thermal detonator* yes my little babies, mommy loves you so much...

4. What's the best thing about OTF, in your opinion?
Me!... humm I mean the people of course, I mean they elected me after all hahahaha

5. If you could say anything to Mr. Lucas, what would it be?
We want more Star Wars man, go to your desk now and work on it!

6. Which Star Wars character is your favourite, and why?
You cant ask me that! There is to many to chose from... Han Solo for the classic trilogy for sure and I would have to say Obi-Wan for the new trilogy. But the best of them all is Yoda of course, he can kick buts and still be short! lol

7. Do you ever miss being able to blame Hobbie for everything? Have you even stopped?
Of course I never stopped blaming Hobbie... though I do miss shooting his but out of the room in a daily bases. Hehe

8. Finally - Gungans or Ewoks?
Gungans for target practice and Eworks for cuddling. What!?! not my fault Gungans are so annoying and Ewoks so cute and fury and adorable.... plus they really kick buts.

...so there you have it, folks. I'd like to thank Jaden for taking my word for it that she'd won an award, and subjecting herself to this interrogation on good faith. *g*

Bria Terrik (CL7)
Senator of Corellia
Neither Gungan nor Ewok.

Interview with Ohm, winner of the 2007 J.R.R. Tolkien Award. [by Aleka]

Aleka: Hi Ohm and thanks for being interviewed. Let's get down to business and jump right in with the questions.
Recieving the Tolkien Award means that you, among other things, that you go above and beyond the call of duty. You are extremely involved in OTF, but do you have a favorite project you like to work on?

Ohm: Personally I've always enjoyed the challenges that come with workingwithin the Internal Development group. Projects like the "Chat Filter"and "Chat Preview" are awesome to work on because of both the impactthey have as well as the number of skilled people that work on seeingthe project through. In my mind one projects sticks out in my mind andthat was the Outpost10f Topsites project (topsites.outpost10f.com)where I got to work with a very talented artist, Lindax, to create anreally nifty little system (which links into the Gateway project noless!). So from this you can tell that I love development/programmingtype of work, especially when I have the backup of some talentedartists which can steer the looks and feeling of a project.

Aleka: Many people looked up to you before winning this award, do you have any advice for new officers about how they can follow your wonderful example?

Ohm: I'm not really sure that first statement is entirely accurate, atleast that I'm aware of but I'll indulge you... I don't think as anexample I shine out very well, I'm often reclusive and busy workingaway on some new feature and miss out on catching up with people inthe chat rooms. If I can say one thing it would be to take it easy,don't rush and enjoy the company of others. Take time out to chat,have fun and ensure you wear sunscreen when heading outdoors.

Aleka: Having been a member of OTF for so long, what keeps you coming back?

Ohm: Actually I still consider myself a new comer, perhaps I always will.Of course the most obvious answer is the people, and indeed largelythis is the case. There are those special few which have had lastingimpacts on me and some of them are still around and make logging inall the more worthwhile. But for me there was also the challenges ofworking in a department, getting that next project finalised and outinto the community and waking up at all hours of the night to sit inon meetings or to tease Iain in the OTF shell.

Aleka: What is your favorite fantasy series, other than The Lord of the Rings?

Ohm: Well actually this fantasy series is my favorite, even over Lord ofthe Rings. I feel absolutely head over heals with Robin Hobb's workwhen she wrote the Liveship Traders series, but would class theAssassin's Series her best work. The way she writes and the tried andtested formula she uses bring the characters into your life infantastic ways. Truely I didn't appriciate fantasy as a genre until Icame across her work.

Aleka: Finally, if Maxwell's handbag is hot pink, what color is yours?

Ohm: I have a handbag? Well yes, of course there's the Engineering handbagwhich has been handed down the long line of Chief Engineer's... Butit's still in it's prototype phase, and the Design team are busy onother projects so for now it remains a sleat grey.

Aleka: Thank you very much for allowing me to interview you Ohm. :)

Promotions [by Sector Command]

To CL6:

  • Jaquaia (SW) - Guilds' now not-so-new AM2's dedication and hard work have been examplary. Congratulations, Jaq!
  • To CL5:

  • Pheeble aTemps (SW) In addition to having been a friendly and regular presence in the chats, Pheebs has recently been contributing to both the Poetry and Music Guilds. Keep up the good work!
  • To CL4:

  • jag deviss (SW)
  • Kaytsu (FY)
  • Martyn Antilles (SW)
  • Matthew Stardreamer (SW)
  • Trinity Morgana (SW)
  • To CL3:

  • duncanghola2 (SW)
  • Expired Milk (SW)
  • SkyKore (SW)
  • TK-1250 (SW)
  • Rankpants-o-maticpants [by Peppermint Pattypants]

    Pants. The keyword shall be 'pants' and you shall not nor shan't argue or understand this. *weaves fingers spookily*

    What's this about? Our last contestant, the ever lovely CL7 Majin Kazepants will now need to get Jesus his email back and take this new rank in return:

    "The Best Superhero of them all: SCIENCE Boy!"

    Without the quotation marks, mind you. =P

    Submitterpants, and hereby officially winnerpants of Majin's lovely new rank is the ever lovely, one and only CL7 Kayanapants, who has to live with gets this beautiful award for it, because she still thinks, that Ferengipants are sexy beasts. And you thought, I was crazy, eh? =P



    This month's victim is the not so ever lovely, but holographic pain in the butt CL12 Vic Fontainepants!

    Yeah, that's right: Vic! The Blue Reporters (aka: me) thought about it for a long time and decided that it would be a great idea if the peoples out there (aka: you) could finally pay Vic back what he deserves for stalking everyone of us so badly. To make this whole event even more exciting, we will pick three winnerpants next time, namely first, second, and third. So, if you really really really wanna zig-a-zig-ah see Vic having the most hilarious rank of all times, then go submit it. But, as usual: be nicepants!



    Yours rank-o-matically,
    Peppermint Pattypants

    No pants were harmed during this writing.

    OTF Blues: Blue Report Deadlines [by Polson]

    If you've ever had a deadline to meet, then you've been the guy sleeping on the couch. Hey, at least I didn't say you were Dmitri, drooling in the chair!

    [Enlarge comic in a new window.]

    The REAL story behind Star Wars... part XVI [by The Senate]

    63. EXT. TATOOINE - MOS EISLEY - STREET - PRE-CARNIVAL.

    Deepio paces in front of the cantina, drinking a chilled can of oil as Ajay carries on an electronic conversation with another little red astro-droid. He's flirting, but at least he's not hitting on the trash cans nearby again. A creature (anteater?) comes out of the cantina and approaches two stormtroopers in the street.

    DEEPIO

    I don't like the look of this *slurp*. This had better not interrupt my drinking time.

    64. MOS EISLEY BROS - CANTINA/NIGHT CLUB/CREAM TEA ROOM.

    Strange creatures (That's so rude. How come the humans are human but everyone else is a creature? That's alienist that!) play exotic big band music (Glen Miller with a Morrocan twist anyone?) on odd-looking instruments as Osiris, still giddy from his collision with the furnishings, downs a fresh drink and follows Ma-Jin and KypDBacca to a booth where Hobbie Solo is sitting. Hobbie is a tough, roguish starpilot about thirty- *mumbles the rest* years old. A mercenary on a starship, he is simple (their words, not mine), sentimental, and cocksure. In other words, he's a smartypants.

    HOBBIE

    Hobbie Solo. I'm captain of the Minumin... Millaminun...Maluoomi... Eminem *darn it!* Falcon! I'm the Captain of the Falcon! Kyppy here tells me you're looking for passage to the Alderaanduran system.

    MA-JIN

    Yes, indeedy-doo. If it's a fast ship.

    HOBBIE

    Fast ship? You've never heard of the Mimmiman... Mamoomami... *darn it* You've never heard of the Falcon?

    MA-JIN

    Should I have? By the way, nice going on the hard sell there, inspires such confidence...

    HOBBIE

    Yeah, well, whatevah! It's the ship that made the KesselPestleVessel run in less than twelve parsecs!

    *tumbleweed moment*

    HOBBIE (Contd.)

    I've outrun Imperial Tortilla-Chips, not the local bulk-cruisers, mind you. I'm talking about the big Corellian ships now... which I can tell means nothing to you because you're giving me a really glassy stare. Look just take it from me, she's fast enough for you, old man, we have flames painted on the side and dangly dice in the window! What's the cargo?

    MA-JIN

    Only passengers, though I suppose a couple of them could ride cargo if that's cheaper? Myself, the boy (oi, I'm old enough to drive you know!), two droids, and no questions asked- though you did just ask one so that's kind of a silly thing to say. No further questions asked, yeah, yeah, go with that.

    HOBBIE

    What is it? Some kind of local trouble? Trashed a hotel room? You're not in a band I hope?

    MA-JIN

    Let's just say we'd like to avoid any Imperial entanglements.

    HOBBIE

    Well, that's the trick, isn't it? Sounds painful, too. And it's going to cost you something extra. Ten thousand in advance and... oh, I don't know... Tatooine take out? With Force-tune cookies?

    OSIRIS

    Ten thousand? And take out? We could almost buy our own ship for that!

    HOBBIE

    But who's going to fly it, kid! You? *sticks out tongue*

    OSIRIS

    You bet I could. I'm not such a bad pilot myself despite the fact I only have Ace Combat 1 on an emulator. We don't have to sit here and listen...

    MA-JIN

    We haven't that much with us. But we could pay you two thousand and cookies now, plus fifteen when we reach Alderaanduran, and no take out.

    HOBBIE

    Seventeen, huh? Hah, I didn't even need to use my fingers to figure that out!

    Hobbie ponders this for a few moments. No one sees him checking on his fingers underneath the table.

    HOBBIE

    Okay. You guys got yourself a ship. We'll leave as soon as you're ready. Docking bay Ninety-four and don't forget the cookies!

    MA-JIN

    Ninety-four *he writes the number on Osiris's sleeve*

    HOBBIE

    Looks like somebody's beginning to take an interest in your handiwork.

    Ma-jin and Osiris turn around to see four Imperial stormtroopers holding up pieces of the dead bodies and asking Hagrid some questions. The bartender points to the booth, waving a severed arm and hitting a nearby patron across the upper appendages.

    TROOPER

    All right my little dude, we'll so be checking it out.

    The stormtroopers look over at the booth, but Osiris and Ma-Jin are gone. The bartender shrugs his shoulders in puzzlement, not seeing them escape under Ma-Jin's brown cloak of blending-in-poorly.

    HOBBIE

    Seventeen thousand! *Stares at his fingers* Those guys must really be desperate, or can't count either! This could really save my neck. Get back to the ship and put some fresh batteries in the engine.

    65. EXT. TATOOINE - MOS EISLEY - STREET - PRE-CARNIVAL

    MA-JIN

    You'll have to sell your speeder, I don't have enough loose change for the cookies.

    OSIRIS

    That's okay. I'm never coming back to this planet again. It smells.