Issue #25

Word's From our CiC [by HAL]

This past week I had the great pleasure of attending Iain and Mezoti's wedding. This was the second time that I met people from the Outpost "in real life," the first being a meeting with Iain and Brandi a year prior when they were passing through, but this time it really drove home what the Outpost is really all about: friendship.

We may squabble on the forums sometimes. We may get a little too wrapped up in promotions (or the lack thereof) at times. But all of that falls aside as you watch two of your good friends climb up onto a stage and make a lifetime commitment to one another in front of their friends and family. All because they came together in our little corner of the web and found a small slice of happiness thanks to the friendly environment we've created.

Twelve years ago Andrew Maxwell and Terrence thought that it would be a nifty idea to create a Star Trek chat room where people gained ranks and worked in departments loosely based on departments you'd find on the Enterprise. Since then the site grew out into three genres and nearly 20,000 registered members. Things have slowed down a bit for the Outpost in recent years as newer and shinier Web 2.0 gadgets supplant old-style HTML chat rooms that were all the rage a decade ago, but despite all that the community that has always been the core of the Outpost remains.

The Outpost has been through some tough times in recent years. When I took over in early 2008 we faced an aging an inadequate server and a site that was operating so severely in the red even after donations that we were in real danger of being shut down. We've managed to solve those big problems and keep the Outpost solvent through at least 2010, and with the help and dedication of the community I have no doubt that we will continue to keep this site that we love so much online and going strong for many years to come. There's still a lot of work that needs to be done to return OTF to its former glory as a major fan hub, but I'm confident that the OTF community will rise to that challenge as they have to all others in the past twelve years.

So here's to the Outpost, and to a second decade of success for the world's oldest sci-fi and fantasy chat community.

Editor’s Note: This interview was provided with the assistance of the Outpost 10f Yearbook Staff. Please Click here to see the 2009 OTF Yearbook.

The Future’s so bright I gotta wear Shades [by Richard Smith]

Well here we are in the mist of another Outpost Anniversary. Happens every year about this time, give or take a few weeks. It’s a time where all of us get together and celebrate not only another year of existence, but to pat those people on the back who have worked hard to make our community what it is. That’s reason to celebrate is it not?

But really everyone has a reason to tip their hat, from Admiral Daecrist to the guy who just joined looking for some people to take sci-fi with. Why? You ask, well it’s because they are a part of the community that is Outpost 10F. Yes it has its flaws, yes it sometimes will drive you crazy, but most of us wouldn’t have it any other way. Personally I view the outpost as a place where I can get away from things for a while, be around great people and have some fun. I hope you have your own reasons for coming back time after time.

If you’re a newbie around here, welcome. I have only one piece of advice for you, and that is get involved. The reason this place has been around so long is because other decided to enhance their experience and got involved. So find a place where you can do some good, and plug in. If you do that we will be around for a long long time.

So eat, drink, and be merry and most of all have fun. …Everyday. Happy Anniversary OTF.

Did someone call Security? [by Richard Smith]

So after many years there has been a changing of the guard in the ISA. Director Brandi has stepped down to enjoy a calmer life with Admiral Iain and with that opening the Admiralty has selected Deputy Director Dmitri (A.K.A Lee) to take the Director’s office. I had a chance to sit down with Lee recently and talk about his vision for the ISA and other Non-Outpost related stuff.

BR: Thanks for taking some time out of your busy schedule to sit down with the Blue Report today.

Dmitri: No problem. It isn’t like I have anything better to do.

BR: So you’re the Director of ISA now, what exactly does that mean?

Dmitri: It means I am responsible for keeping the lamers at bay with pretend phasers. Cool isn’t it? But seriously… I take the job seriously and it means I am responsible for the chat moderation and its moderators. I ensure the rules are followed.

BR: What exactly is the mission of ISA?

Dmitri: All grandeur aside, we are simply chat room moderators. We make sure the content of the chat-rooms remains clean and of an acceptable nature. We also do conflict resolution when the circumstances call for it.

BR: Do you plan to make any changes in the way the ISA does things?

Dmitri: I see ISA as being more relaxed about its role. It is reactive rather than proactive. By this I mean that where problems arise we will deal with them. We are not going to actively seek out problems. We will moderate the chats. If anyone needs us, we are here. I also plan to re-introduce and promote ISA intelligence as a project.

BR: You recently bolstered the ranks of the ISA, what were you looking for when selecting officers?

Dmitri: I look for people who are reasonable and calm. And of course people with a proven track record at the outpost. I have to be able to trust my ISA officers and I am pleased to say that I have every confidence in all of them.

BR: How does one report a violation of the PD’s?

Dmitri: You can speak with an ISA officer in the chat room. You can email me directly. If you email the Outpost’s help mail address that reaches me as well.

BR: Anything else you want to put out there for the OTFers?

Dmitri: Vote Labour.

BR: On a personal note you are a candidate for office in the UK, how is that going?

Dmitri: It is a very tough process. Though I am a member of the political party which is in government, in my constituency I am in third place. I have a lot of work to do between now and the election if I am to be successful. I am always out and about campaigning in my constituency, holding events and just talking to people about their concerns.

BR: Should you be elected, what’s the first issue you want to tackle?

Dmitri: Not so much a specific issue, but a cause. As a socialist, the issue at the forefront of my mind is improving conditions for the working class.

BR: Well Lee, thanks for taking some time today and continued success both in the Outpost and in Real Life.

Dmitri: Thank you, Richard. And don’t forget, vote Labour!

Outpost 10F Agony Aunt [by Robert Werner]

Dear Shadowfox,

My girlfriend drives me nuts. I ask her where she wants to go for dinner. My usual answer I get is "I don't know" or " I don't care". What do I do?

Dear Reader,

Start a resturant chain buisness named "I don't care". Trust me,you'll get good buisness fast!!

Promotions [by Sector Command]

To CL9:

  • Dmitri(ST)
  • For his outstanding work during the Anniversary, as well as heading up ISA as the new director and being a driving force for the OTF yearbook. Lee, we salute you!

    To CL4:

  • arthu (SW)
  • To CL3:

  • LazyNoob (ST)
  • Zalamira (ST)
  • Act 24 [by Queen of the Universe]

    98. EXT. SPACE.ADVERTISING FREE

    The TIE fighter is losing ground to the larger pirateship as they race toward camera and disappear over head (I don't know whose head either).

    99. INT. MILLENNIUMMYUMMY FALCON - COCKPIT.

    The distant star can be distinguished as a small moon or planet, or a giant round killing machine of death cunningly named after a small moped.

    OSIRIS
    Look at him. He's headed for that small moon! Gosh, I really fancy a Ferrero Roche suddenly, can't think why.

    HOBBIE
    I think I can get him before he gets there...he's almost in range. Aw damn, now I want some choccies, too. I knew there was something else I needed to buy before we left the spaceport, but nooooo, we had to leave in a flippn' hurry!
    The small moon begins to take on the appearance of a monstrous spherical battle station. Goodness gracious, a great ball that fires!

    MA-JIN
    That's no moon! It's a Ferrero Roche!

    HOBBIE
    It's too big to be a Ferrero Roche, and would you shut up about choccies!.

    OSIRIS
    I have a very bad feeling about this, I think it's hunger.

    HOBBIE
    Yeah, I think your right, we should totally head for the nearest hypermart. Full reverse! Kyppy, lock in the auxiliary power and break out the emergency candy cash.
    The pirateship shudders and the TIE fighter accelerates away toward the gargantuan battle station.

    OSIRIS
    Why are we still moving towards it? More importantly, why- if we're still moving toward it- is the fighter accelerating away?

    HOBBIE
    We're caught in a tractor beam! It's pulling us in! Actually, I guess that should really be they're dragging us in. If I wanted to be accurate I should say 'We're caught in a vaccuum cleaner, it's pulling us in!' Maybe sucking?

    OSIRIS
    That's not the only thing that's sucking...But seriously, there's gotta be something you can do! Maybe drive left or right a bit? We might swerve.

    HOBBIE
    There's nothin' I can do about it, kid. I'm in full power and wiggling the drivey stick all over the shop. I'm going to have to shut down. But they're not going to get me without a fight! At least, well, I mean they will in this bit... but later, yeah, later they will not get me without a fight!
    Ma-Jin puts a condescending hand on his shoulder.

    MA-JIN
    You can't win. But there are alternatives to fighting, like a nice cup of tea and a game of snap.

    100. INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - VESPA OF DOOM.
    As the battered pirate starship is towed/sucked/pulled/dragged closer to the awesome metal moon, the immense size of the massive battle chocolate becomes staggering. Running along the equator of the gigantic sphere is a mile-high band of huge docking ports into which the helpless pirateship is dragged... dropped? I dunno, parked?

    101. EXT. VESPA OF DOOM - HUGE PORT DOORS. TINY STARBOARD WINDOWS.

    The hapless Millennieminem Falcon is pulled past a docking port control room and huge laser turret cannons. Are they compensating for something?

    VOICE OVER VESPA INTERCOM
    Clear Bay twenty-three-seven. We are opening the magnetic field, please do not wear any metal objects nearby. This has been a public service announcement.

    102. INT. VESPA OF DOOM - DOCKING BAY 2037. BY THE BINS.

    The pirateship is pulled in through port doors of the Vespa of doomitty doooom, coming to rest in a huge hangar whose doors are not quite as large as the interior, making you wonder why they made the ceiling so high. Thirty stormtroopers stand at attention in a central assembly area. Perhaps they are going to form a human pyramid.

    OFFICER
    All dudes to your stations! (to another officer) Come with me bro'. *muttering* I hate having to speak this lingo.

    103. INT. VESPA - HALLWAY.

    Stormtroopers meander to their posts.

    104. INT. VESPA - HANGAR 2037.

    A line of stormtroopers march toward the pirateship in readiness to board it, while other troopers stand with weapons ready to fire... at the ship, not each other (though honestly, I wouldn't put it past them).

    OFFICER
    Close all outboard shields and switch off the porch lights! Close all outboard shields and switch off the porch lights!

    105. INT. VESPA - CONFERENCE ROOM. I'VE RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY HERE.

    Texan pushes a button and responds to the intercom buzz with a buzz of his own, this continues for ten minutes before he pushes the correct button to answer.

    TEXAN
    Yes, is it tea-time now? Are there scones?

    VOICE. FUNNY NAME FOR A CHILD.
    (over intercom) We've captured a freighter entering the remains of the Alderaanduran system. Its license plates match those of a ship that blasted its way out of Mos Eisley Bros.

    IAIN VADER
    They must be trying to return the stolen Ferrero Roche to the princess, well huzzah and jollity! She may yet be of some use to us. I think this calls for fish suppers all round!